My son, Ari, was born in March, 2008 and he was such a happy boy. He was an excellent eater; a great sleeper. I wouldn’t even know when he awoke because he was just so content – always. Then he had his 18-month MMR vaccine. He was feverish, he was sick and he didn’t stop crying.
The next day I was no longer a part of his world. I was suddenly invisible and he was beyond my reach.
When Ari was diagnosed with autism, I was devastated but I already knew he had it. I guess it was just hearing it aloud – officially. I consoled myself with the fact that life often throws people a curve ball. It’s just “one of those things” and I was silently grateful that that “thing” wasn’t something like cancer. My son was still alive and we were lucky compared to many other parents in the world.
Then there was the day that I learned Ari’s autism wasn’t just “one of those things”. We weren’t “lucky”. He was deliberately poisoned and he didn’t have to have this tragic life of suffering – the frustrations, the obsessions, the compulsions, the physical bowel and stomach pains, the inability to talk; the meltdowns; his dark, isolated world.
This day – the day I learned he was deliberately poisoned… I stopped existing. Nothing mattered; nothing was real… not as we once had believed it to be.
Now, nothing else matters to me. My life is looking after my sons and researching, sharing that information and thinking of ways to fûčk over the government. All I ever think about is learning more government bullshit and finding another way, another site, more pictures, more evidence, other ways to present it… I’m obsessed and unapologetically so. In my head, as long as there is government, this is how it has to be.
Occasionally I’ll feel sadness as I remember the life we once had and the people we once were, but for the most part, I’m just numb.
I don’t even care for the skeptics. I know what happened. I saw what happened. Mere hours after Ari was born I already knew his cry in a nursery with a dozen other babies. I know my son. I. KNOW. WHAT. HAPPENED.
Then there is the evidence. Yeah, yeah… Mercury’s no longer in vaccines… Not to worry. Aluminium is and that’s a neurotoxin. Believe it – don’t believe it. It makes no difference to me. But I promise you one thing… If you have read this, then you vaccinate your child and he is diagnosed with autism, you will remember this exact moment. You will relive it over and over and over again in your head; as if by replaying it in your mind, you will get back the little boy you once knew…